Sound the alarm I AM BLOGGING! Or at least attempting to so bare with me.

After a couple of 70 degree days we are finally saying goodbye to yet another long (typical) Maine winter and hello to Spring.  Though in New England do not hold your breath because when it comes to weather anything is possible.  I may have pulled out my white pants and flats for today, but I won’t be packing the coats away just yet (unfortunately).  For now the windows are opened and the sounds of birds chirping fills the Spring air.

Maybe it was the gorgeous weather, but on this particular morning an impromptu thought came over me as I decided to ignore my to do’s and soak up this beautiful day while it is here.  I grabbed my laptop and soon found myself in a coffee shop to sit and pour my thoughts out into words.  A bit Cliché isn’t it, but hell what isn’t these days.

So here I am…sitting alone, just a coffee and a blank page for my thoughts.

Crickets.

Well first thought is that I want to laugh out loud at myself.  I feel quite intellectual sitting in a coffee shop with my computer.

“Learn to laugh at yourself.  Life will be a lot funnier.”

Now where do I begin.  Think think.  I’m not even sure what’s on my mind and where I am headed with all of this, but one thing is for certain…sitting here quietly alone feels amazing! I may need to do this more often.

“Sometimes I forget that putting myself first isn’t selfish, but necessary.”

Days for us have been extremely busy lately…simple.as.that.  Busy has been our way of life for quite some time now.  With four kids these days were inevitable.  Though days in our household are so incredibly different now then they used to be.  We have entered a new season with our children growing and each one of them in school full time.  My job has changed.  Their needs have changed.  I am learning and adjusting to this new season of our life  My once scheduled days revolved around their needs turned into nights of baths, stories and early bedtimes have transformed into solo days of catching up on housework while preparing for evenings filled of homework assignments, sport commitments and no longer sweating the bedtime routine minutes.

Weekends once meant as a break from an exhausting week, for a time of togetherness of fun and family adventures along with an extra set of hands.  Now turned into synched up calendars on our devices of full blown activities as we have truly learned the act of divide and conquering.  Extreme chauffeuring leaving little time at home as a family unit can certainly feel overwhelming.  Then again so were the days of buckling everyone in their car seats and packing the entire house for a trip to the grocery store.

The days are long but the years are short.

As I continue to sit here quietly slowly sipping my coffee abandoning responsibilities for another day I am reminded at the once desire I had for more time to myself…like all mothers in the thick of the demands longing for a mere moment of quietness to simply be still and just breath.  Then suddenly that time…my time is here.  And I will admit guilt free that I am loving it…yet somehow hating it all at the same time.  I miss it.  The constant little companions, the sweet love our littles filled those innocent days with I miss it all…but do I really? A big part of me will always miss it.  I don’t think one has four children and not love the days of babies and littles always in tow.  I will always wish for my children to be little again where they fit into my arms and a sweet kiss fixes it all.  But with change comes growth and new beauty.  I have truly enjoyed this new season we are in.  The conversations, the laughter…the ease in life returning for my husband and I.  They are growing, thriving and becoming stronger, smarter and more independent by the day.  Watching them through every milestone is one I will never take for granted nor wish away.

Parenthood…you are indeed one beautiful journey…you have managed to combine an exploding love, times of joy & unpleasantness (as well) all into one.  You have taught me incredible strength.  The hardest job that could have ever been placed upon my life, one I take so much pride in and all its accomplishments, big and small.  So just like the ever changing seasons…so is life and all the hidden beauty it has to offer.  As we say goodbye to one season may we leave it behind with appreciation as we eagerly welcome what’s next to come.

Xx-Susan

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