Becoming parents came into our life as a bit of a surprise. It was not along the timeline that we had envisioned. It was definitely NOT the planned out ways that some would agree with, but it was our choice and our ways of choosing our happiness.
I was young and I was in love…though there are two of us in our marriage I speak of I because there’s a few years in between myself and the hubby (8 if you’re curious). I believed I had a relatively good head on my shoulders for being young and I was soon going to become a mother. But at the age of 19 (personally) I was yet intuned to my emotions…I was not connected or truly confident within myself.
Then on May 11th a “little” 8 lbs. 13 oz. life changed me.
“Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had. And dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.” -Linda Wooten
Not being strong was no longer a choice…and with reality staring me right in the face I had to learn my strengths quickly. The minute life was cradled in our arms was the moment we felt the truest most powerful form of love. Our little girl…there you were and suddenly all our hopes & dreams changed…they became larger then ever. Life instantly gave us a different level of happiness and a whole new purpose to our world.
It was inevitable that parenthood would take over my heart and turn me into one sappy broken record. I have lost count to how many times I have asked the ever so relatable question…where have the years gone? Wasn’t it just yesterday Will and I were discovering that we were starting a family together. All the feels went through us in those 9 “short” months…remembering so vividly the anxiousness in our hearts as we impatiently awaited the arrival of our first baby.
Then in a blink of an eye…here we are…14 years later. How did we get here so quickly? There were stages that felt never ending and questionable if we were going to make it out alive. Now our precious once helpless baby we just brought home is a teenager and if that wasn’t hard enough to swallow we are embarking on life as a “high schooler.” People we have a freshmen! I can not even begin to explain the roller coaster of emotions I have been on these last few months as we all transition into this next chapter of life.
I constantly go between wanting you to stay my little baby forever and being excited about all of the amazing things you will do in this life.
These past 14 years have flown right by us…and the thought of the next 4 ahead has my heart in my throat. We have had our share of ups and downs through it all…and will continue to, parenthood is a job. It requires work…screaming demands at times, there are learning curves every turn you take.
This little girl standing in front of us, our baby girl…is on the brink of womenhood…preparing to drive, work, college and so many other adult situations. Adult situations? That just does not seem possible, yet somehow it is. When parenthood is placed on to you…a love like no other is created. Worry and protectiveness over every little tiny thing consumes you. I will admit I was that parent (still am) that everyday I kept them alive, semi happy and some of my marbles in tact was a win!
This moment in life we are learning to watch on as we see our 14 year old beginning to develop her own dreams that will soon become a reality. We have gradually let go, okay maybe not let go, but have begun to take a step back and loosen up on the parenting reigns day by day. From playing primary roles in making and managing all decisions to now becoming a sideline tour guide as we direct her to making some of her own choices and responsibilities for her own life. It is all new and it is strange, but it also feels damn good as well.
So to our dear first daughter…as we ride into this new journey together. May you always give 100% of your effort into life and know that sometimes life doesn’t always go as we envision, but trust in yourself that the results will be what you make of it. Life is what you make of it. Work hard, never stop learning, take chances, be courageous…be you and enjoy this life of yours. The world is your oyster. Follow your heart use your brain and always ALWAYS choose your Happiness.
Love You M.